Yes, I’m in seminary. It still sounds strange to hear myself say that. I would much rather say I’m simply taking seminary classes, because it makes it sound like it’s less of a big deal. I’m only going part-time after all. But after my first two weeks it’s become evident that I really am in something rather than just doing something.
Seminary has always been a touchy subject for me. For a long time now people would encourage me every now and then that seminary would be a good fit and that I should pursue full-time ministry. While it did encourage me I always rebelled against the idea that I had to go to seminary in order to fulfill my potential and do great things for God. If that’s the case, then real ministry is only for a select few people with the right education and credentials, which simply isn’t true.
On top of that, much of my spiritual rearing has come from sitting at the feet of wise, mature, godly “regular” guys…. men who took the Bible very seriously, saw ministry as an essential and normal part of the Christian life, were gifted teachers and had a lifetime of wisdom to share with me. And none of them were “formally” trained. In fact, among certain groups I would hear about the dangers of seminary training, how it can lead to a sense of entitlement, how it contributes to a ministry-is-for-professionals mentality, how it can inflate the pride, and of course about how it isn’t biblical because none of the early disciples were educated. Because I clung so tightly to these opinions at times (for the sake of wanting to be accepted) mixed with a genuine desire for people to know the live the Gospel, it became easy to associate a lot of problems with the church … you know, how people always say “The problem with the church is” as though there is only one problem and the person saying it doesn’t have any of their own … anyhow, it became easy for me to associate problems with professionalism. Seminary in my mind was the place where sheltered church kids went to grad school so that when their senior pastor father hired them as youth pastor, the nepotism wouldn’t seem to obvious. There they would about programs and how to grow a church and would propagate a heartless, gospel-less churchianity.
Now that description is a harsh overgeneralization, and it goes beyond my perspective. But it is fair to say that I thought that way from time to time, especially if I had a personal encounter with a person or group that seemed caught up in the “church game.” My for real friends and I would make fun of these types and pharisaically conclude that we would never be a part of it.
But on the other hand it’s always been obvious the benefits of seminary: learning from people who have given their lives to a certain subject, being around like-minded people, engaging those who’ve gone before us through what they’ve written, being challenged to think for yourself and outside of the box you were reared in, etc. That’s all descriptive of education in general. But put it in the context of Christ and the Church… who wouldn’t like that? Not to mention how many people I’ve learned from who’ve pursued seminary.
So I’ve wrestled with my perspective over the years. I’ve challenged those who really thought I should go, and I’ve challenged those who thought the whole idea was stupid. I’ve grown to love books and theology and such. I’ve contacted various seminaries for information, and then thrown the information in the garbage after thinking “What would I do after graduation? I’m not trying to get a job. It’s a poor use of money.”
Now I’m taking two classes at Alliance Theological Seminary.
Did anything change? Did I sell out to my “priesthood of all believers” emphasis on ministry? No, certainly not. Leaders are to equip the priesthood for ministry.
Do I want to be an “elite” or “professional Christian?” No. I’m going a semester at a time. A degree isn’t a concern right now. I’m still working full time, though I’m open to change if the opportunity presents itself.
What if I do go into ministry full-time? Am I OK with getting paid? Yes. That argument is so, so silly. It’s something I regret buying into so deeply. Jesus and Paul are clear on laborers and wages. If I do cross that bridge, it won’t be a struggle.
Part of what the Lord is doing in me in beating the Pharisee out of me. I’m seeing how in my desire to not be religious in certain ways, I went about it by becoming very religious in other ways. I thought one thing was better than another because it was the “biblical” thing to think among those around me. Part of it was also the fear of man in play. I wanted to feel that I fit in, was accepted, and respected. Will I now lose the respect of people I love because I’m breaking from the mold a bit? I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter, and it’s the wrong question to ask.
I don’t want make the mistake of letting the pendulum swing in the opposite direction … I’m just writing about where I am now.
And how much I love it.
My surrounding community of church, friends, and family has fully backed me up. I’m learning from scholars and missionaries and being challenged in great ways, only two weeks in so far (learning the context of the New Testament has brought a vibrancy to my bible reading). I’m meeting people who love the Lord and will do great things. Above all else, I so admire that attitude that my school has about diversity, agreement, and purpose. It’s the real deal.
This is where I find myself at the moment. In the beginning of December, it was not on the radar. Now I’m here. I still can’t say I know 100% why.
I’m staring at all the books on my bookshelf and thinking on the various degrees of education and formal training each of the authors had. Some had little to none. Some had years and years. But God has shaped them each in His own unique way so that they could make outstanding contributions to the Kingdom of God. As I contemplate that fact, I’m thankful that I don’t have to condition myself to anyone else’s formula for success or godliness. I just need to belong to Him, and wherever I am, be all there.
I’m in this. Maybe only for a season. But I know the culture is changing, the Church is changing and I am changing. Let’s see where it goes.
