New photo site

I’ll be putting up photos here:  http://muldowney.smugmug.com

I haven’t had much to write about recently, and I’m not going to force it. Seasons, my friends. Seasons.

 

How to “De-Church” People

Matt Chandler at the Advance09 Conference. The entire message was profound. Get the full audio here.

 

 

Bad blogging month, so here’s an update

I’ve been moved into my apartment in Bridgeport for a month now. Full circle, back in my old neighborhood. Interesting.

A lot of people leaving from work. I see why.

I’m really, really tired a lot. I need a new shift, or new job. Can’t find the energy to do the things I want to be doing: working out again, reading and writing, photography, basketball/baseball/wiffleball. 

But onto deeper things. I’m learning much, much, much about community. It’s one of those slippery things that everybody talks about, and everybody strives for, and everybody has an opinion on….but it needs to be experienced. I think I’m currently experiencing the most biblical church community I’ve ever had. I’ve always been around great people who’ve cared about me, who I could learn from, and to whom I could give back, but the time spent together has always been so sporadic. Especially when commuting to a church that isn’t very “local” for most of the people. But now I’ve got something. I’m very thankful for the leaders I’m around. 

In the same way, I’m learning much, much, much about grace. Namely, I’m learning that I can’t know grace until I know I need it. Which means I’m being confronted by all the ways I’m in need of grace. Which means all the ugly things about me are getting exposed – which hurts. I’m confronting a lot of my past immaturity and mistakes. I’m identifying the why’s and how’s of sin. It’s getting really, really raw. As I shared to some people last week, it’s like I want to rent one of those airplanes that flies advertisement banners over the beach, only my banner would say “I WAS STUPID AND I’M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING, EVER.” 

And then the Gospel comes, and I begin to realize what grace really is, its great cost and great affect, and how I cannot be cut off from the grace and love of God. Want to realize the power of the cross and get fired up for the Gospel? Confront your own sin, past mistakes, and current ugliness, then read the bible and trust God’s promise that Christ really is sufficient despite how screwed up you were/are. As Paul Washer says (paraphrase) “The greatest challenge of my life is to see myself in the mirror of God’s Word and to believe that He really loves me as much as He says He does.”

And if this be true – which it is – how can I not extend this love and grace as it comes through the Gospel to others? Which leads to the next thing…

Mission. My friends and I talk a lot about mission these days. I know I gotta do something. I don’t know where it’s gonna be, who it’s gonna be with, or anything else of that matter. But at some point I’m going to lay down my life for mission in a crazy way or my head’s going to explode. I just have to. And in the midst of dreaming and strategizing and “maybe this” and “what if that” and “one day we’re going to” — I got a phone call. At the very least I was affirmed in my desire to herald the Gospel as I’ve been wired to do it. At the very most it I can pack up my life right now and move to a new city and break down some walls for Jesus. And I could probably make the decision today if I wanted to. The opportunity seems to be there. But would I really leave a place as needy as the northeast? Would I really leave this new community I’ve grown to love? Couldn’t I do all the things I could do there, here? Am I doing those things here? Am I sitting on my gifts and passions? Is it about me, or is it about Christ?

A lot of prayer and self-examination coming up. Which means more scars to uncover, which means more grace to receive, which means realizing how it comes, which means realizing the cost, which means realizing the worth – of Jesus.

Finally, going to Advance 09 next week. Mission: play catch in the parking lot with John Piper.

 

Some Wedding Photography

Some of the better pictures I took from Shawn & Ashley’s wedding

 

 

Deeply Flawed, Deeply Saved (Gospel vs. Not Gospel)

I had been trying to sum up the things I’d been feeling lately, trying to find the right words, trying to label it, compartmentalize it, file it away somewhere. I’ve been angsty, dissatisfied and angry towards something in my life. 

I haven’t figured it out completely, but I’m onto something. That something is not the Gospel. Maybe I should put it in italics, because the thing that isn’t the other thing is really its own thing.  Not the Gospel.  

Not the Gospel is its own entity. It exists in various forms. There are always many imitations of the one real thing. Lately I have been having many strong encounters with the true Gospel. Seeing the needs of the kids I work with. Honest dialogue among church folks. Watching the news. People used and hurt by shallow Christianity, longing for the real thing. People looking to break out of their culturally acceptable bubble to walk with God in a new, challenging way. Admitting my own shortcomings and insecurities, needing redemption applied. It keeps coming up, over and over and over again.

I disdain, with a passion, everything that passes itself off of Christianity but is not the Gospel. I used to have that sort of conviction, but solely in my head, intellectually. But now I’ve been around long  enough to actually witness how horrifically damaging not the Gospel is to people’s lives.

• Using people for ministry without being invested in them personally: not the Gospel.
• Forgetting about the people who’ve opened up and and shared their life with you, asking for help: not the Gospel.
• Holding others up to an unbiblical standard of righteousness or holiness that is produced by the self: not the Gospel.
• Receiving Jesus by faith plus keeping Jesus around through your own good works: not the Gospel.
• Receiving Jesus by faith but abandoning Him or the church when times get tough: not the Gospel.
• Receiving Jesus by faith, checking it off of the bucket list and living however you want to live: not the Gospel.
• Learning about Jesus for awhile, then moving on to the “deeper things”: not the Gospel.
• Playing games, socializing, and moralizing all day and night with a nice, friendly group of chrisitan-esque type people: not the Gospel.
• Thinking particular your version of Christianity is the only game in town: not the Gospel.
• Making lists like these because because you think you know more than the audience: not the Gospel.

This can go on and on. I have a few battle scars and war stories, but those much more seasoned than me have really been through it. They’ve seen people hurt badly, or have been hurt badly themselves by those peddling not the Gospel.

What’s the remedy to protect us from this evil? How can you tell the difference between someone who cares about you and and wants to see you conformed to be like Jesus, vs. someone who wants to use you and wants you carbon-copied to be like them? I taught a study on this once. I don’t know if there is a one word answer, but I’ll throw some out there: 

Sin. Death. Grace. Life. Love. Forgiveness. Burden. Cross. Truth. Selfless. Meekness. Humility. Boldness. Repentance. Struggle. Loneliness. Together. Help. Hope. Shepherd. Praying. Knowing. Solitude. Reflection. Sharing. Inviting. Preaching. Peace. Power. Transformation. Justification. (Progressive) Sanctification. (Future) Glorification. And so on. These are the words of life. 

I used to make fun of bad theology. I used to laugh at those on late night T.V. after people’s money with a warped view of God. I would shake my head at for those who manipulated the Gospel message to get what they wanted from people, whether a warm seat or another follower in the crowd or another book sale.

But now, after living a little more, seeing the effects of religion gone wrong, seeing people wounded, seeing Jesus misrepresented, I’m struggling with something more. I’m struggling with hate.

What put the nails in the coffin was the following phrase, innocently enough read in the comments section of a blog post which dealt with overcoming sin, according to Martin Luther. It read as follows:

Luther = Deeply flawed

Luther = Deeply saved

Luther = Me

“Deeply flawed, deeply saved.” Yes, yes, yes. “It’s all about serving the hungry and giving shelter to the homeless.” No, stupid, that’s not the Gospel, that’s doing something. If that’s what saves me, I’m screwed.

“It’s all about holiness….without holiness nobody will see the Lord.” No stupid, that’s not the Gospel, that’s doing something, and I can’t produce it. If that’s what saves me, I’m screwed.

Here’s what the Gospel tells me these days. It tells me I was profoundly separated from God for a long, long time in my life. It tells me this was because of my sinful nature, and also willingly choosing everything that was not God in my life, i.e. hating God. I was “without God and without hope in the world.” Jesus came and rescued me. He lived a perfectly obedient life (contrary to me). He died a criminal’s death bearing the weight of my sin under the wrath of God on the cross. He substituted Himself. He said if I come and I believe, I would be forgiven. I didn’t want to come or believe, but He drew me and granted me faith. He gave me a new life and a new heart. He left me here to go through some of the same things he went through. He left me here to be fully human, to worship, to live, to become more like Him, to know Him. He promised to always be with me. 

But He also left me in this body, in this place and time. The world is ugly, and I’m not good at life sometimes. Most of the time. I become more and more aware of my faults, shortcomings, insecurities, and selfishness. I realize more and more how small I am and how little I have to offer. Yet, paradoxically, in truth, this is where I see more and more of all of the single words I list above and experience life to the full. This is where I know His love, His election, His pre-eminence, His concern, His strength. This is where I can look to others before myself. This is where I can give. This is where I can speak. This is where I experience community. The more broken I become…..the better. It’s simple as that. I know God more as I realize my need for Him more. And He responds, and His people do like Jesus and shine brightly, lovingly, to show off how good God is, and out of concern for people.

That’s the Gospel. I’m allowed to struggle and be broken and confused and messed up as a not yet finished product (even if I don’t meet some standard). And I’m allowed to preach the cross and grace boldly (even if it makes me “one of those”). And I’m allowed to not have easy answers (even if it makes me “dangerous”) And I’m allowed to tell the answers which I do know (even if it makes me a know-it-all). And I’m allowed to take risks. And I’m allowed to grow. And I’m allowed to live biblically, but not “that” kind of biblically, whatever you think “that” is.

So, if you are one with your religious form of semi-christianity who emphasizes not the Gospel, forget you (I desire to use a stronger word than “forget”). I hope you come to know the truth, but as it relates to people you deal with in the here and now, forget you, because you are hurtful. You are a stumbling block. I mean it. Jesus said something about a millstone, and your neck.

So forget your legalistic only-we-are-preaching-the-truth-so-do-what-we-say mentality. You add to the perfect redemptive work of Christ and you don’t really love people.

Forget your liberal we’re-all-God’s-children-and-everything-is-lovely mantras. The world is rotting and needs a Savior and you don’t really love people because you won’t tell them the truth.

Forget your gotta-do-gotta-go-gotta-serve-gotta-make-an-impact-we-need-your-help routine. You’ve taken zealous people eager to do good work and used it to advance your own kingdom, burning them out and turning them off to Jesus in the process, and you don’t love them.

Forget your you-gotta-be-healed-delivered-straightened-out-of-everything-no-struggle-no-doubt-no-anxiety-no-worry-no-temptation manipulative psychology. You don’t live in the real world, you’ve never been out of America, and you don’t know much of God’s means of sanctification in people’s lives, and where people can most experience grace. That’s not love either.

Forget your just-get-them-to-believe-but-don’t-teach-them-anything-hard-like-theology-or-doctrine-or-hell-or-counting-the-cost. You don’t know God’s ways of making us like Christ. You don’t know the truth of Scripture. And you don’t want people to have a real confrontation with God because you think they’ll be scared away, when the truth is you’d be scared away if you knew what He thought of your tactics.

Because all of that doesn’t help anyone. No life in any of those. No redemption. Nothing to offer, except baggage to deal with years down the road when the Gospel is encountered in truth. Those doesn’t help me become more like Jesus and love better. It doesn’t make Jesus look right. 

Of course what is listed above is the worst of the worst, far end of the spectrum stuff. And yet I’m guilty of all of the above in some way, shape, or form, at some time in my life. But guess what- even getting those things right isn’t the Gospel. The Gospel is Jesus saved me, I didn’t deserve it, I’m the chief of sinners, but He loved me first and loves me anyways and is changing me slowly. The Gospel should lead to right thinking, right worship, right practice. But it also leads to forgiveness for the times when people get it horribly, drastically, life-alteringly wrong. This is my struggle right now. I hate not the Gospel, and I almost-hate those who screw the Gospel up for everyone. Mostly because I myself desperately, desperately need the true Gospel in my life right now. I think Jesus hates not the Gospel too. But He’s willing to save those who practice it, and right their wrongs.

So let’s preach the Gospel to ourselves, daily, to help everyone get it right.

Deeply flawed = me = Deeply saved

 

(And if you don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, what makes me tick, why I write the things I do, what this Jesus/Gospel thing is all about, then please, please get ahold of me. Leave a comment, message me, email me, whatever)

 

Don’t Waste Your Life Video

 

Just Some Spring Love

 

(click to zoom, click again to zoom closer)

 

A Lamb Led to the Slaughter

Watch the video of an actual Passover sacrifice of a lamb

I can’t write eloquently about that video. There’s no need. It’s startling, and disturbing. There is so much buildup. You can feel the weight of the ceremony on the shoulders of its celebrants. The lamb really is killed. It’s blood really is poured out. This really is how it happened. It’s graphic, so watch it with caution. But watch it with thankfulness, for so many reasons.

You understand the significance this weekend. It is explained very well both here and here. You should read both of those articles. The first is from the folks who captured the video.

If you do watch it, I hope it disturbs you as much as it did me. Then I hope you think deeply about it. Think of life, and death. Think of sin, and its cost. Think about how this was a common thing for God’s people for so long. Think about all the scriptures. Think about Abraham and Isaac, and what almost happened there. Think about Christ. 

Think “It shouldn’t have been Him.” Think “It should have been me.” Think “God so loved the world….”

I hope it all hits harder after seeing this.

 

Jesus Wants the Rose

The real, true, transforming, redemptive Gospel vs. religion in 4 minutes:

 

Happiness

There once lived a guy. He saw this thing that someone else had, and he wanted it. So he went out and got one for himself. It made him happy. Then he died.

——————————————————

There once lived a guy. He saw this thing that someone else had, and he wanted it. So he went out and got one for himself. It didn’t make him happy. Then he died.

——————————————————

There once lived a guy. He saw this thing that someone else had, and he wanted it. So he went out and got one for himself. It made him happy.

After a few years, he wasn’t happy with the thing. He saw an upgraded version, so he went out and got that one. This one made him happy for awhile too. But then he wasn’t happy again.

He kept getting the upgraded things over the years, going from happy to unhappy to happy to unhappy, over and over again. Then he died.

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Who wins?